Thoughts From My Lunch Hour: Crosby Loggins Is Surprisingly Not Terrible

[stream] Crosby Loggins: "Seriously"

[stream] Crosby Loggins: "Time to Move" (featuring John Mayer)

(A QUICK) THOUGHTS FROM MY LUNCH HOUR by Andrew Daniels

Okay, so it's no secret that I harbor completely irrational feelings of ill will toward celebrities who I'm sure are charming and great but are just the worst at everything (sup, Stephen King?) Another frequent subject of scorn is the terrible Kenny Loggins. But you know what? Dude's got a son named Crosby, who is (duh) also a singer-songwriter but not as awful as his father. In fact, he's downright enjoyable and doesn't make me want to vom. Crosby, who is undoubtedly sick of being referred to as Kenny's kid, just released a new album, Time to Move two weeks ago. I really dig what I've heard from it. He's got an airy voice akin to James Taylor, but definitely less pussified, and the lead single "Seriously" is a mover with an immediate chorus and actually, even better verses. It's streaming along with the title track, which features John Mayer on guitar (sweet hook up!) For those of you who aren't ashamed to admit you kinda like Top 40 piano pop, you could do far worse than check the kid out. Do I give glowing endorsements or what?

Hey, At Least It's Not Asher Roth

[mp3] Cazwell - "I Seen Beyonce At Burger King" 

Disclaimer: I hate myself for posting this.

As a general rule of thumb, I try to listen to at least thirty seconds of every artist that gets sent our way. Most of the time, it's crap. But I've found a couple of my favorite bands by way of press release, however rare that occurence may be. So I keep trucking. This is not one of those times. This is crap. 

But I can't get Cazwell's "I Seen Beyonce At Burger King" out of my head. If I were Stephen King, who is just the worst, this would count as today's 'earworm.' The song is terrible, and I want nothing more to do with Cazwell or Beyonce or fast food, but it keeps on calling me. I go and focus on something else, like walking the dogs, and all I see is Beyonce at Burger King. I'm pawning this off on you, intelligent readers. You deal with it now.

Why Stephen King Is Just The Worst

Because he's old and terrible. 

The man who named Buckcherry's Black Butterfly as the best album of 2008 should never be allowed to comment on anything remotely related to pop culture. Yet he continues to write an awful column for Entertainment Weekly (yes, I have a subscription, because I am a girl) where he muses on irrelevant artists and topics pandering to middle-age readers but mostly just to himself. His latest opus is a glorious slice of cheese where he lists all the songs that he gets stuck in his head -- he calls them 'earworms' -- and then follows up each one with a witty observation or piece of advice. When a reader mentions she's had the Sesame Street theme song in her head for over 30 years, the comedy master offers these insatiable words: "Get this woman a doctor!"

That's why Stephen King is just the worst. Read the whole scanned column after the jump, or spare yourself and don't. 

Click to enlarge.

Stephen King Has Lost It

...And you thought Paste was out of touch. Stephen King, he of those classic horror novels and the occasional Entertainment Weekly column, has exhibited his complete cultural irrelevance with a Best Albums of 2008 list in this week's EW. Dude, we love you and respect you for all that you've done in the world of fiction over the last half-century... but please stay away from writing about music.

This guy has named -- wait for it -- Buckcherry's Black Butterfly as his top pick of 2008. SERIOUSLY? BUCKCHERRY? The sleazy washed-up cock-rock band whose biggest hit was called "Crazy Bitch"? You would've been better off bestowing Hinder worthy of such a title. (We kid. Hinder can eat it, too.) Of the opus, he says it was "the best hard-rock album I heard this year (with one sweet and unforgettable song called 'All Of Me.')" He also praises Katy Perry and AC/DC in the column. (Alas, She and Him is nowhere to be found...) All other critics, take note: you're not going to beat this. Stephen King has officially one-upped all of us.

See the full list after the jump.

(To be fair, some of this is decent. But that doesn't negate anything, Mr. King.)

10. James- Hey Ma
9. Randy Newman- Harps And Angels
8. Lindsey Buckingham- Gift of Screws
7. Al Green- Lay It Down
6. Coldplay- Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
5. Alejandro Escovedo- Real Animal
4. Girl Talk- Feed The Animals
3. James McMurty- Just Us Kids
2. AC/DC- Black Ice
1. Buckcherry- Black Butterfly / the Pretenders- Break Up The Concrete

Musings on each album: Entertainment Weekly.