Friday, March 13, 2009

'I Love College,' Are You Fucking Kidding Me?


Raving, embittered report of the morning: Asher Roth is a D-Bag (sorry, but yeah he is.)
What has our society been brought to? How can a frat-All Star write a song about being a frat-All Star (he says he wasn't into the frats though) and slowly garner respect and listeners in the music world? This song epitomizes what is truly wrong with fratting, fratology, brodom, and all subsequent categories. The LA Times blog Pop and Hiss reported on this earlier today. Maybe I could eat my words, if, as it turns out, Roth was, being facetious. Doubtful.

Let's take a look at some well-crafted and intellectual lyrical pursuits by Roth in "I Love College."

"That party last night was awfully crazy/I wish we taped it/I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked/Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need/Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again"

"Man, I love college"

"I wanna go to college for the rest of my life/Sip Banker's Club and drink Miller Lite/On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice/And I can get pizza a dollar a slice"

Damn Bro, that shit is hot.

The rest of Roth's lyrical-duechebaggery after the jump. Sorry Currie.

So fill up my cup, let's get fucked up
I'm next on the table, who want what?
I am champion at beer pong
Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon

Don't even bounce, not in my house
Better hope you make it otherwise you naked
Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

Um, that party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
And I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
Man, I love college

I can't tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don't pass out with your shoes on
(Get the Sharpie!)

And don't leave the house 'til the booze gone
(No, we're not leaving)
And don't have sex if she's too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on
(Trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn

Hold the beer bong, nothing wrong with some fun
(Here, hold this)
Even if we did get a little bit too drunk
Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
I love college

Now if everybody would please
Put their drink as high as they can
As high as they can
(As high as they can)
And repeat after me

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Freshmen! Freshmen!
Freshmen! Freshmen!

Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy!
Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy!
Keg stand! Keg stand!
Keg stand! Keg stand!

(That party last night)
Man, I love college
I love it!
(That party last night)
Alright everybody, I gotta head back to class for a little bit

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
(You know it's going down)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
(You're all invited, bring your friends)
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

Do I really have to graduate?
Or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?

3 comments:

Will said...

Why would he want Banker's for the rest of his life? SHIT IS HORRIBLE.

Hannah Miet said...

What are you talking about? Those lyrics have real depth.

Now, excuse me while I vomit up breakfast.

Anonymous said...

I already vomited. Not from the post, but from the 9 shots of goldschlager i did last night.