Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tim's Top 10 Top 10's (that's not a typo)

"The Editors" bestowed upon me the distinct honor of writing "some sort of a top 10 list, ya know, if I felt like it." I didn't really feel like it, but I was so overcome by their holiday generosity that I couldn't say no. Given that we here at Stark like to think of ourselves as an "emerging media conglomerate," I decided to include elements in my list beyond our normal stock and trade. I also figured everyone else in the solar system (and their mom, and their uncle Gino, and their attorney's secretary WANDA) has already compiled their "Top 10 Records Since Jesus Was Potty Trained." So, without further ado, I give you my Top 10 Top 10 lists of 2009. I hope it's your top Top 10 list of 2009.

10.) Fail Blog's Top 10 Fails of 2009 - So many dumb assholes did their thing hard this year. Thank god we have Fail Blog to rank them for us.

9.) National Geographic's Top 10 Photographs of 2009
- Sometimes I get extraordinarily tired of looking at my computer. I do not, of course, stop looking at my computer, I just go to this website.

8.) Better Business Bureau's Top 10 Scams of 2009 - Wait, you're telling me I haven't actually earned a $100,000 credit line?

7.) Trip Advisor's Top 10 Dirtiest Hotels of 2009 - I travel a lot. Do you? Might wanna read this. ps - is it wrong that I'm sort of happy NYC claims two of the top ten?

6.) Wine Spectator's Top 10 Wines of 2009 - I obviously only drink PBR (or Dales if I wanna get RIPPED!) and wine is OBVIOUSLY for chicks. But I dig chicks so I think this is might help me score with them. Bone up bro.

5.) iTunes Best iPhone Apps of 2009 - OK, a list of Top iPhone apps on iTunes may be a little biased, but c'mon, what has Apple gotten wrong in the last 10 years?

4.) Pop & Hiss (The L.A. Times Music Blog) Top 10 Rap Songs About Booze of 2009 - I just love that they did this.

3.) Top 10 Things Captured by the Google Street Cam - Google captured America acting like a bunch of retards. And then it went viral . . .

2.) Mad Magazine's 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2009 - 2009 was loaded with dumb. Who better than the geeks at Mad to take a huge dump all over everybody? Seriously, stop at B&N on the way home and pick this up, it's like the Onion but meaner and with cool drawings.

1.) Time's Top Ten Everything of 2009 - Just in case you have five or six hours you are looking to burn off your work day . . .

Here's to Twenty-Ten!

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